heartbeats April 11, 2006
Posted by pusher in Kho Deep Thoughts :-P, thinkin again.3 comments
god loved his world and his people so much he hung himself on a cross in order to absorb all the pain and suffering those people would ever experience in all of time.
im not god but i see how much you hurt and suffer and if there was anyway for me to take on your troubles and hurts and even that muscle pain in your knee…
just so you could carry on happy, smiling, feeling the way you feel on those pills and drugs without the pills and drugs just like yourself so care free…
i would do it in less then a heartbeat.
i have a big heart and i’d give the whole thing to you if i could
but the thing about heartbeats, is that i need mine. i need my blood to pump. my oxegyn to flow. my body to work.
so you see i cant continue to give my heart so freely to you, i just wont live without it.
you didnt ask for this but this is what you got.
i didnt plan it this way either.
but someone did and he usually knows what hes doing.
the things i realized March 11, 2006
Posted by pusher in Kho Deep Thoughts :-P.add a comment
from Feb 13, 2006
i saw it all before it happend
then i realized
how much i had hurt myself
i saw this coming years ago
when i didn’t realize
the interior pain i make myself suffer
i saw a big train wreck
when i realized
it had crashed into my soul
i saw myself in the mirro
then i realized
i was cut and bruised from head to toe
i saw myself looking back at me
then i realized
i was holding the knife going through my back
i saw myself trying to run away
then i realized
i was driving the train too
My artwork February 11, 2006
Posted by pusher in About my Blog, Kho Deep Thoughts :-P.add a comment
The whole purpose of this new blog is to be an art project. A work of art can never be completed 100%. If it’s made by human hands and minds it will constantly need improvement no matter how much you work on it.
The human life itself is a work of art. One we work on our entire lives and can never be perfect until our creator puts the final finishing touches on our souls in heaven, then we have reached perfection.
This is my mind. This is my mind. These are the things I build with the tools I’ve been given. This is my artwork. Appreciate it for what it’s worth. Understand that it will never be perfect. I will never be perfect. You will never be perfect.
Why I push. February 1, 2006
Posted by pusher in Kho Deep Thoughts :-P.add a comment
I’ll push until it reaches full potential. I’ll never quit pushing myself. I’ll never quit putting myself in risky positions. I’ll never quit pushing you. I push on everything, that’s my little way of finding out how things work. There’s always more buttons to push. Sometimes I fuck up and push things over the edge. That’s a personal fault I deal with. But I learn from it. If you don’t want to be pushed, and you don’t like a good challenge…we can’t be friends.
